Doubts.

Just back from another Kitty's Road meeting, during it we discussed our fears and worries about Kitty's Road. It came to light that we pretty much all had the same things in mind. It was one thing that Nicola said that really stuck out to me.

"I'm just worried about messing up when I talk to people. Like I feel that I haven't read enough [of the Bible] to be able to talk to these people. I don't think I know enough to be able to tell these people about Jesus. I just don't want to let Jesus down."

Nicola was worried about letting God down and I think I can relate to that. I know that God knows how much we can handle and he doesn't expect more of us than we can give. It's just I don't want to leave Kitty's Road doubting whether I made the most of my opportunities, or said the right things in conversations.

Also I know that I don't know enough. I don't think I'll ever be satisfied with my knowledge of the Bible, I don't know if I know enough Scripture to be able to tell people about Jesus and show them passages to back it up. I just don't know enough.

I also doubt my life, I don't think my life is 'Christian' enough to witness to these people. Every single day I make mistakes, I sin. I don't pray enough, I don't read the Bible enough, even today I was sitting thinking, "What does meditating on the word even mean? What does it involve?" I am completely doubting whether I am the person to bring the Word to others. I doubt whether I practice what I preach, I don't want to be a hypocrite.

Jason said something very reassuring at the meeting,

"God will use the broken words to heal the broken hearts."

I know God doesn't expect perfection, because no one can be or is perfect. But I just wish I could feel more confident with myself.

On a lighter note, it is only a few weeks until Kitty's Road and I am EXCITED. I can't wait to meet the American team and I can't wait until we get down there and get started.

please pray for Kitty's Road

-jules